1TO10REVIEWS

300 was Awesome, I don’t care what anyone else says.

My Review: 8

Now, I will admit freely, right off the bat: I am a former comic book collector and a sci-fi / fantasy nerd. So I am not exactly impartial to this genre of film making. But I think they did a lot of things really, really well.

I heard a lot of bad press on this movie, things like “too much CG” and “poor dialogue and performance.” I couldn’t disagree more strongly with those criticisms in particular. In my humble opinion, this movie made some of the best use of CG that I’ve ever seen. What usually bums me out about computer generated graphics and imagery is when they try to do too much with it; actual human fight sequences or pitched aircraft battles (see Star Wars episode I for irritating uses of CG.) What I loved about the CG in 300 was the use of it for back drops and scenery. They created an epic, comic inspired landscape in which to kick ass, and I thought it was beautiful.

The comic thing is an important point by the way. While the story line for 300 is loosely based on the historic battle of Thermopyle between tiny Greek (Spartan in particular) forces against an invading Persian mega-army, the movie itself is inspired by Frank Miller’s comic graphic novel adaptation of that story, also called 300. Frank Miller has been a comic genius (writer and artist) for many years - I remember reading his Daredevil comics as a teenager and loving them. From my perspective a prime goal of this movie was to bring a comic book to life (on the silver screen); in my opinion, that goal was met with complete success.

Regarding the acting, I think the performers did exactly what they needed to do. This is definitely a movie that requires that good old W. S. o D. (willing suspension of disbelief,) but as long as you employee it appropriately, you will enjoy this movie. I think it was shot and animated extremely well, and that the actors played their parts to fit the role. This is not Gone With The Wind - this is a slash-em-up fun movie, and it does a great job of keeping you on the edge of your seat. One fight scene in particular between Gerard Butler (Leonidas) and the giant super-killer in the Persian army actually had me squirming - it was great. Zack Snyder (Director) did a wonderful job with this movie, and I can’t wait to buy the DVD.

For my money, 300 was a resounding 8.

My Review: 6.5

I am not referring to the myth that you can kill a werewolf with a “silver bullet.” Obviously silver is way too soft of a metal to use as a slug in a bullet.

(I sounded like I knew what I was talking about there, huh? I think lead is actually pretty soft too.)

No, I am talking about Coors Light, the rocky mountain silver bullet.

In my younger days I was a sincere beer snob. If it wasn’t imported then I wasn’t gonna drink it. Of late I have begun to drink more domestic beer, especially Budweiser and Coors Light. It’s not that I have suddenly decided that they taste better (they don’t), nor that that I’m suddenly patriotic (always have been and always will be.) Rather, I have discovered some particular attributes that I appreciate in some of our domestically brewed adult beverages.

1. They are cheap

2. On a hot sunny day of water-skiing in 100 degree weather, you do not want to be drinking Guiness. Coors Light is almost like hydrating while you get drunk. Yay.

So, while I still like a good imported Belgian beer (Delerium Tremens is a personal favorite) I can get behind a Coors Light while sitting down to Family Guy and take-out Chinese food (OK, it was delivered.)

God Bless America

Column. Damn. Autumn. Condemn. Hymn.

My Review: 7

These are interesting words with an interesting letter combination. What’s the point? Why have those letters together if they do nothing for pronunciation? I mean, we could really get into it on the phonetics of the English language, so I don’t want to wade too deeply into that one, but it’s still a funny little combo.

Why not write: “colum”? Seems adequate to me.

Column

But, there’s a style, a “flavor” to those two letters when they’re in cahoots. Maybe it’s because they sit so close together in the alphabet. Maybe M secretly says “tell P to fuck off” and “I think L is a pussy” to N when they’re hanging out together. Or maybe it’s that secretive “nnnn” sounds that vibrates in your head after you a word like that. Hymnnnn.

Hymn                 Autumn

Yet, is style enough? Is it elitist and pretentious to write Autumn with an N at the end of the word for no other reason that style? My guess is that there are etymological reasons (etymology is the study of the history of words) based on language of origin behind some of them.

And again, maybe it depends on word variation. Hym might be fine for a prayer song. But Hymnal (a bok of prayer songs) is much better than Hymal. Who says Hymal?

My review of this letter combination is a 7. Some may say its elitist, but I don’t care. I like mn as a combination, and anyone who thinks different is a comnunist.

Damn

My Rating: 3.5

Contrary to popular belief, flavor (or flavour if you’re pretentious) is caused by a combination of both taste and smell. Because it is a combination of two senses, not just one, it is an art not a science. For this very reason flavor is illusive and often betrays our better judgement. Did you know, for instance, that food producers quite frequently add flavorants? Have you ever even heard the word flavorant? It’s okay - me either. Primary function of flavorant? Flavoring shit.

This leads me to the logical conclusion that we don’t actually know what the flavor of anything is anymore. We simply have no idea because evil scientists are using our senses against us. One prominent consipiracy theorist has suggested that a secret society (based on the East Coast) called the Republicans are using flavor against us in order to promote obesity, thus creating a greater need for health services. Sure, you’re thinking, “that’s just not possible.”

Take another bite of your Snickers bar and open your eyes! If your taste and smell have betrayed you, maybe your sight is still okay. See flavor for what it is:

A marketing tool that is destroying America.

My Review: 8

It’s big.  It’s salty.  Mostly it’s blue.  That’s right, I’m talking about the Pacific Ocean.  This is the largest of the 5 oceans in the world.  New Zealand and California share an ocean; they share it with Japan.  Sweet.  The Pacific Ocean has an area of 155.557 million square kilometers.  It is a big ass body of water.  Yet its highest point is still only sea level.

Seriously, there is fantastic surfing (I’ve been told) in the Pacific ocean, from Santa Cruz to Australia.  I’ve been in the Pacific Ocean in Hawaii, in California, in Washington State, in Fiji, in Mexico, and in some more places that I don’t remember.  I’ve caught at least 12 different kinds of fish (Mackerel, Barracuda, Marlin, Mahi Mahi, Blue Shark and Yellowtail being a few of them.)  Most of those we ate, so it’s cool.

The ocean is salty, so you should not drink it.   It is fun to swim in, but it is sometimes cold; especially if you live and swim in California. There will be more to come on the Pacific Ocean soon. So hang tight.

My Rating: 2

It’s not often discussed, but Chafing sucks a lot. Let’s say you’re taking a hike. You’re excited because you don’t often get to hike. You sit in front of a computer and you want to reconnect to the outdoors. You start on your little hike and about 20 minutes into it the pain and irritation begins. Maybe it’s between your legs near your junk. Now, it hurts and you’re self conscious because you keep trying to readjust - put some fabric between the two irritated parts of your body. Some beautiful, fit woman runs by and you’re playing with your junk. It sucks.

Try this stuff, it works. Sports Shield.

Rub it all over your junk and feel like you just got lubed up for the big race. It’s got that roll-on ball on the top of it, it feels good. Real good.

Chafing = Bad. Lubrication = Good.

Have a good weekend.

My Review:7

The Daily Reel is a cool… site, service, podcast? They are something of a content aggregator, sifting through lots of content on the web and using their site to let you know what you should be watching. Tens of people are sitting in Los Angeles right now, figuring out what you need to see on the web. They also generate some of their own content, podcasts, forums, blogs, etc. Based on their blog, they sift through the video content on the web (You Tube, et al) and let us know what’s best. The site is ad supported and has taken a small seed round (six figures) from Boston based Prism VentureWorks.

I actually found these guys on Blip.tv; I was bored and watched Felicia Williams deliver a podcast. She’s good looking, which is what got me engaged initially. But what I really like is user generated stuff. Some of it is great, some of it sucks, but it’s all empowering because anyone can contribute their thoughts, their message, or their perspective on life to the community at large. Daily Reel is helping to sort that content to give us time starved folks an edge on what content we should consume, and that’s a valuable service. So far, while navigating through the site, I have not been disappointed in what I’ve seen, and I’ve gotten hooked (in spite of myself) into several linked sites and discussions.

I call it an 7 because they’re doing good work and providing a useful service. The site is a little busy for my taste, but the target consumer will feel at ease in the mayhem.

Here they are on blip.tv: http://blip.tv/file/204741

My Review: 8.5

There are few pleasures greater than getting into a Ford F-250 at about 7:30am, heading to Home Depot after a restless night of drinking thanks to a few too many shots of Jack, Jerry Reed on the radio singing “East Bound and Down,” heading down Mulholland HWY in the Santa Monica Mountains while spitting that foul clump of mucous-inspired chew out the window splashing down the side of the dirty white F-250 painting brown flames on the side which the the truck wears like badges of honor chugging down the road at 8 miles per gallon.

But, other than that Red Man Chew is a terrible habit that doesn’t exactly get you laid. In fact, it turns off most people, makes your mom mad and creates a phobia of coffee cups that you’re not quite sure if you’ve spit in or not. It only costs about $5 bag in California which means that it must cost about $2 in any other tobacco-friendly state.

Here’s a few tips to make your chewing tobacco experience better:

First, spit into coffee cups (Starbucks preferred by this satisfied customer) with the top on. It’s very easy to make a seal on the opening and that little hole in the top will push your air out as you push the thick liquid in. My second tip is stick to Red Man original. It comes in a green package. Don’t try the stuff in the Gold Package known as Golden Blend. It’s really sweet and I don’t think it’s the way that God had intended it. My third and final tip is to be very careful when you spit out of a car. It’s easy to experience “blow back.” It’s not good especially when there is someone in the back seat (sorry, Joel).

As for my review, Red Man gets an 8.5 because it’s not exactly a healthy product. However, I will say when you’re constipated there are few things that are more “cleansing” than Red Man. So, go out and buy yourself a bag, sit back, enjoy and please monitor which coffee cup has the hot coffee and which one doesn’t.

My review: 7.5

The new ipod shuffle is really cool. I got it as a Valentine’s Day present from my fiancee (she kicks ass) and I use it almost every day. As usual, Apple hit it right with form factor and design, and this little device fixes the issues that existed with the generation 1 shuffles.

First let’s talk form factor. The body is made of brushed aluminum and feels sturdy and reliable in your hand. Little pieces of plastic (like most miniature mp3 players and the original shuffle) just don’t compare with something that feels solid and metallic. Also, the biggest pain that existed with the original shuffle was where to put it. I use my shuffle when I exercise. I would prefer to only run when I’m being chased, but I force myself because it is good exercise. Most running shorts don’t come with a convenient pocket for an mp3 player - the new shuffle fills that need with a built in clip. And it is so small and light that it doesn’t drag your waist band down or flop around when you’re pounding across the street to avoid getting smashed by a city bus while jaywalking. Is nice.

Sometimes, especially when you have a full 1 gigabyte (that’s the capacity) of music on the thing, it’d be nice to know what song is playing, or where you are in the list of music. But I think that most people (myself included) accept not having a screen or interface for the sake of minimal size and weight. I just set it on random and take off.

The battery lasts forever. I’ve used it consistently (about an hour at a time) and not charged it for over a month and never run out of battery. Maybe that means I don’t run as often as I should. In any case, Apple claims 12 hours of battery life when fully charged, and I think that runs true. You do need to use their little docking station, both to charge it and to add / remove music from it. I’d like it if I could maybe use a USB cable instead (easier to carry) and not be married to the dock, but it’s small and light, and it is sort of cool looking.

The metal, while it is durable and solid, does cut into the skin a little bit when I wear it on my waistband. I could clip to a sleeve, but I usually just suck it up or tuck the front of my shirt into my waist just behind the player. It works, but I wouldn’t mind some rounded edges on the inside of the clip.

Overall, this thing is awesome. The buttons are easy to press even while moving, and the whole thing pretty much rocks. My buddy Kurt bought one when it first came out, and I was uber-jealous. Then he told me that he lost his after a serious night ofdrinking with his boss. I started to commiserate with him, but he interrupted me to say he was glad. This way he was able to justify a blue one.

The basic specs are:

• Height: 1.07 inches
• Width: 1.62 inches
• Depth: 0.41 inch (including clip)
• Weight: 0.55 ounce
• Capacity: 1GB
• Playing Time (fully charged): 12 hours

For more comprehensive technical specs see the Apple website:
http://www.apple.com/ipodshuffle/specs.html

You can buy it on Apple’s website as well. As usual they will do a free engraving for you, and you can have standard shipping for free. You should buy one, it is rad.

Post Script

There is a cool review of the original iPod shuffle to be found here: http://www.livedigitally.com/2005/02/27/please-try-not-to-eat-it-a-review-of-the-very-edible-ipod-shuffle/

My Review: 5

Lots of blogs are writing about Photobucket’s user generated videos being blocked on MySpace. Techcrunch wrote it up, and Om Malik did a great write up on Giga OM here. I think this whole thing is quite a big deal for the guys at Photobucket, though their CEO Alex Welch denies this.

Photobucket has 40 million plus users, and hosts billions of images (with a “b”) on sites all over the internet. Their foundation is in hosting photos, and they got their foot in the door with MySpace. Lots of sites have made a business hosting photos for MySpace users, but Photobucket is the biggest, largely (in my opinion) because they were the first.

An interesting theory was posited to me by a friend that this might be a bid/clamor for acquisition. Maybe Photobucket wants to be acquired, and maybe MySpace (Fox) is thinking about paying, but they don’t want to shell out all the money PB is likely to require/demand. This might be MySpace’s way of putting them in their place and quelling the price.

Video is a fast growing space, and PB has created a really cool Flash tool for user editing and generation. I think they ought to continue pursuing that course, but they should separate their products. Put the video tools under a different brand, a sub-brand operated by but separate from the Photobucket label. I think that a certain level of buffer, while transparent, would help them isolate their products, their users, and their business models.

There’s a lot of meat here, a lot of big ideas being discussed. Business models and revenue plans, social networking and personal customization, advertising, photos, videos and the world wide web. I think that this is a fascinating development in the technology world. I don’t think the fallout will be that bad though - call it a 5 of 10.