My Review: 8.5
There are few pleasures greater than getting into a Ford F-250 at about 7:30am, heading to Home Depot after a restless night of drinking thanks to a few too many shots of Jack, Jerry Reed on the radio singing “East Bound and Down,” heading down Mulholland HWY in the Santa Monica Mountains while spitting that foul clump of mucous-inspired chew out the window splashing down the side of the dirty white F-250 painting brown flames on the side which the the truck wears like badges of honor chugging down the road at 8 miles per gallon.
But, other than that Red Man Chew is a terrible habit that doesn’t exactly get you laid. In fact, it turns off most people, makes your mom mad and creates a phobia of coffee cups that you’re not quite sure if you’ve spit in or not. It only costs about $5 bag in California which means that it must cost about $2 in any other tobacco-friendly state.
Here’s a few tips to make your chewing tobacco experience better:
First, spit into coffee cups (Starbucks preferred by this satisfied customer) with the top on. It’s very easy to make a seal on the opening and that little hole in the top will push your air out as you push the thick liquid in. My second tip is stick to Red Man original. It comes in a green package. Don’t try the stuff in the Gold Package known as Golden Blend. It’s really sweet and I don’t think it’s the way that God had intended it. My third and final tip is to be very careful when you spit out of a car. It’s easy to experience “blow back.” It’s not good especially when there is someone in the back seat (sorry, Joel).
As for my review, Red Man gets an 8.5 because it’s not exactly a healthy product. However, I will say when you’re constipated there are few things that are more “cleansing” than Red Man. So, go out and buy yourself a bag, sit back, enjoy and please monitor which coffee cup has the hot coffee and which one doesn’t.
{ 13 } Comments
If it ain’t Skoal, it ain’t chew.
Redman gold is the best. Hands down.
awsom green
all red man is the best it is so sweet.
redman is the all around best chew ever.
i personaly love redman original or levi garrett original
Skoal, or anything like it, isn’t chew. It’s dip. And it’s awful.
Chew is so much cleaner and better tasting, and it doesn’t turn off as many girls as dip does. haha
i would like to say that now matter what kind of chew you like, girls will be turned off. redman looks like a big piece of poop in your mouth and dip is just gnar kill. However, I am enjoying my chaw right now and i don’t care if girls like it. Be a gentleman, only spit in front of your buddys, and don’t chew around a lady. Be a cowboy, not an outlaw.
I agree 100% about Red Man in the green package. It’s the best chew available, and I’ve chewed it for over 40 years. It looks terrific on the side of my truck. And it sure satisfies when you hear the big splat on the ground. When I was young, I had no problem with girls being turned off by it. The one I married merely says, “It’s a guy thing.” As far as I am concerned snuff/dip isn’t chew. The good old cigar leaf is best. And if one wants to enhance the pleasure of chewing Red Man, well, smoke a cigar along with it. The bigger the wad of tobacco in my cheek the better I like it.
Red Man in the green pack is the best. It lasts longer than levi garret. Dip is just fucking gross and women may be turned off by chew so just dont let them see you do it haha
Redman is really good chaw. Skoal, grizz, etc. is messier…you let that shit get in your mouth &out of the front of your lip and it looks like you have a mouth full of coffee grinds. But, to each his own
My gf doesn’t like that I chew….but hey…I have a gf. She says the same thing…it’s a guy thing. she like’s flavored coffees and lip gloss…I like Redman Chew.
I’ve tried them all and keep coming back to Redman. I agree with the Starbucks cup. I have to wear a suit everyday, so I have to be a little sly about it. Drink 3/4 of the coffee to get you moneys worth then use it to spit in. I sometimes get a Pepsi or Coke in the plastic bottle and do the same thing. To all you beginners I have to things to share. Spit if you feel a sneeze coming on and I mean NOW. I’ve had a couple accidents in my car before. Man what a mess. Good thing my wife has her own car. The second thing is, quit if you can. It’s more addicting than cigs.
I have chewed Redman for 3 years. I have even got tickets from having it at school but I still chew it. My girlfriend wants me to quit but I cant. She thinks that I did but I dont do it around her.
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[...] Skoal when I chew tobacco (with Skoal it’s usually called dip, or dipping) but I have used Red Man and other long cut chewing tobaccos. This cigar, unlit in my mouth, tasted strongly reminiscent of [...]
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