1TO10REVIEWS

My Review: 9

I take Protonix, a PPI (proton pump inhibitor.)

Protonix is a pharmaceutical medication primarily aimed at reducing GERD (gastro-esophageal reflux disease.) I.E. Heartburn.

GERD can be quite serious, and lead to many complications like throat and esophagus damage, cancer, and other various nasties. GERD is not why I take Protonix. While a late night bowl of chili can certainly give me some heartburn, I use it for a more unusual condition. I actually have a stiff ring of cartilage in my throat that is quite narrow. If I eat food too quickly (and I almost always do) and the food is not chewed sufficiently, it can get stuck in my throat. I have had near choking fits on several occasions, especially when I tried to “wash” the food down and ended up almost drowning myself. Ultimately my doctor prescribed a PPI to help the situation, and it worked. I chose Protonix because I have an inside connection to get it cheap (free.)

In reality, many of the PPI’s (Protonix, Prevacid, Nexium, etc.) are very similar in their efficacy and safety. So it doens’t matter too much which one you use. But I am very happy with Protonix, and here’s why:

1. It effectively reduces heartburn (definitely more for long term sufferers - it is not a quick fix like Pepto or Tums)
2. It improved my choking fits dramatically - I don’t know why or how, but it worked
3. They have a cute “Monster” mascot called “Gerdy”

4. I get it for free.

5. I’m a huge dork and I call it Proton Nine (Protonix = Proton IX) - That’s Fun.

So, I’m here to tell you that Protonix (Generic: Pantoprazole sodium) is a good drug. It’s effective, reasonably priced (even if you don’t have the hook-up), widely available on most insurance plans, and I am a solid supporter. Nine.

PS

For more information on Pantoprazole sodium refer to this website.

Rating: 6

If you’re a man then you have hair on your ass. Some women also have hair on their ass usually in the form of peach fuzz (hopefully). I don’t have too much hair on my ass, but I’m a hairy guy and I, admittedly, have my fair share of ass hair. I’d love to tell you that I’m proud of my ass hair and that if you stood me next to other guys with some ass hair, my ass hair would stand out as particularly attractive ass hair. In fact, I’d love for my ass hair to be a source of pride. But, alas, it is not. Ass hair, in general, is just ass hair.

I have many times pondered, “what is the purpose of ass hair?” I’m sure you’ve wondered too. Luckily for the loyal readers of 1to10reviews, I have discovered the authoritative work on ass hair purpose.

Here’s a tidbit of what the following link contains:

“I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a
towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the
cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair.”

http://www.team-ninja.com/vbulletin/archive/index.php/t-10185.html

Based on this review, I give ass hair a solid 6.

My Review: 5

You know what’s difficult as a man in the Harley Davidson community? Being told that you ride a girl’s bike.

A close friend passed away a little more than three years ago. He was a motorcycle enthusiast and had always wanted a Harley. Around the age of 60 he decided to purchase one, but he was the type of man who only paid for things up front and in cash. As such, the only bike he could afford at the time was an 883 Sportster, the smallest bike Harley made (and still makes.) Given how much he would actually ride the thing it really made sense, but it was not a big “Harley.” He had a stroke about a year or so after he got the bike, and after that his riding really trickled down to almost nothing. He recovered pretty well, but his balance and equilibrium never really recovered enough for him to spend much time on the bike. In 2004 he died, a moment that affected me and many others very deeply. None of us wanted to see the bike leave the “family” and despite not having a license or really knowing how to ride, I decided to buy his bike.

Fast forward three years. I have a license. I love to ride. I rode the bike from Malibu up here to San Francisco pretty much in one day. My poor “boys” have never been so rattled and shook up.

The Sportster is not a bad bike. Its actually quite reliable and runs smoothly even after weeks or months of near neglect. It’s fun to zip around on locally, even if it is a but small for my frame. But the thing is a rattle trap and vibrates like a cheap motel bed high on quarters. I can’t stand going over 55 mph.

When we got into Santa Cruz we stopped at SC Harley Davidson I spoke with a salesman there who agreed that the 02’s are pretty bumpy - his girlfriend has one and complains all the time. His girlfriend. Grrr.

It’s tough to be a Harley Man with a girls bike.
Regarding the bike itself though, as I said it is reliable and runs smoothly. Acceleration and shifting are both excellent. There’s plenty of muscle in the 883 engine, even if it is the smallest Harley offers, there’s still plenty of power. That might even be part of the problem - too much muscle on a very small frame. More recent models (2004 and up) have a rubber mounted engine that dampens the vibration considerably.

It’s carburated so there there is a fuel switch and a choke, and I kind of like fiddling with that stuff. Fuel injected engines are less work but I think they’re lazier too. The air cooled engine works fine, and the bike never really seems to ride too hot. Though of course, I’ve never ridden it in Arizona in August, so what do I know. Also, the gas tank only holds a little under three gallons, and I can usually get about 100 miles before I need to re-fuel. That’s pretty short range in my book, and the options on upgrading to a bigger gas tank are almost non-existent. The ones that will fit cost a bundle and only net you an extra half-gallon or so.

I miss my friend terribly, and I love that his bike sits in my garage and I get to keep a piece of him with me all the time. But I can’t help wishing that he had bought himself a Fat Boy or a Road King. Oh well - the 2002 883 Sportster from Harley Davidson gets a 5. Long on reliability and sentimentality, but short on comfort and range.

My Review: 7

So, I called it. With the top 5 on stage and nothing else better to watch on TV, this Memorial Day Monday May 28, 2007 I said Miss Japan was was going to win. And I was right.

I think she’s pretty, I think she had more presence than anyone else who was there, and I think she did the best job answering the final question. The top 5 included USA, Brazil, Venezuela, Korea, and obviously Japan.

In spite of all appearances, I do not have an Asian fetish. I legitimately think she deserved to win. The rest of the competition looked like they were made of plastic… it was a little gross.

Miss Japan is now Miss Universe, and I am a genius. And I had nothing better to do. Ain’t life grand.

Congrats Miss Japan. You get a 7 out of 10.

UPDATE:

I really should have addressed this when I wrote the post initially, but there was a truly funny moment. At least, it was funny on my couch at home; funny in that “holy crap that poor girl” kind of way. Miss USA, Rachel Smith, fell flat on her ass in the midst of the Evening Gown competition. I have no doubt that this will appear on YouTube forthwith, and I will update this post again when it does to add it here. Achh. That poor girl. But she still made it into the top 5, and get booed by the citizenry of Mexico for her trouble. Pageantry can be an ugly business. Pun very much intended.
Ciao for now.

My Review:10

Rick Danko learned music as a young child, became an apprentice butcher at age 14, was a member of an American/Canadian Honky-Tonk Rock’n'Roll band at 17, an international Rock’n'Roll star with “The Band” by age 23, and died at age 56 of a heart attack.

Rick Danko was a kind, fun-loving, goofy man who used a distinctive and flowing style when playing bass (aided in part by his use of a fret-less bass beginning in the mid-70’s) and sang with a pitchy, falsetto voice on many of his lead-vocal tracks with the Band.

Rick Danko died in 1999 while I was in my senior year of college. I was just starting to understand the music of the Band at that point. The more I listen to the Band (and that activity occupies a significant portion of my daily routine) the more I realize how much Danko contributed to the sound of what I consider the greatest rock and roll ensemble of all time.

Lots of personal information about Danko (personal life, time with the Band, and solo work) can be found on this wonderful resource: http://theband.hiof.no/

There is also a Wikipedia article dedicated to Danko.

Two notable songs by the Band that Danko sang lead for included “Stage Fright” and “The Unfaithful Servant.” Both became staples for the group’s live performances, and both are among the best of the music the group recorded. Streaming examples can be found in the widget on the sidebar.

Rick was a wonderful musician, and by all reports a wonderful and generous man. The post is small tribute, but I want to honor this man who has had a very great impact on my life. Rick gets a 10, and he’s worth every point.

My Review: 8

They Might Be Giants.

The two Johns.

TMBG.

This rock band has written, produced, recorded and (mostly) released a new album, and I like it very much. The hoped-for suite of fun melodies, silly, well-informed lyrics and fun composition is very much present on this album. “The Else,” is set for release on Idlewild Recordings in stores on June 10th. However it was made available on iTunes May 15th and Sol snatched it up.

“The Else” Album Cover

I have now listened to it 7 times in a row. I’m not bored. Not at all. This album is as mch fun to listen to as “Apollo 18″ or “Flood,” though it is a little shorter than I’d like. The primary 13 song CD clocks in at 41 and a half minutes, and I could go for another 15 minutes of fun song writing. Wikipedia says a bonus CD will be included with the in-stores release; I guess I’ll have to get that too.

Some of the tunes are unusually mellow and even pop-ish for TMBG - notably track 5, “Careful What You Pack.” Which is not to say that I don’t dig it - it’s just a bit of a departure.

When he gave it to me Sol made me listen to track number 13 (the final track) first. This might account for why I now like the album so much: it put me in a good mood. Track 13, “The Mesopotamians,” is right there with Ana Ng, Istanbul, Mammals, The Sun, and so many other greats. But lots of tracks rocked here. A couple others include: “The Shadow Government” and “Contrecoup” (it’s awesome.)

I have been a comitted TMBG fan for many years, but they do not get an automatic good grade. I am maybe even more critical of a band that I care about, because my expectations are high. I’m relieved to report that “The Else,” the newest release from They Might Be Giants is a solid, strong, fun album. You should listen to it now.

“The Else” Track List:

1. “I’m Impressed” – 2:39
2. “Take Out the Trash” – 3:14
3. “Upside Down Frown” – 2:17
4. “Climbing the Walls” – 3:15
5. “Careful What You Pack” – 2:40
6. “The Cap’m” – 3:11
7. “With The Dark” – 3:17
8. “The Shadow Government” – 2:37
9. “Bee of the Bird of the Moth” – 3:31
10. “Withered Hope” – 2:54
11. “Contrecoup” – 3:11
12. “Feign Amnesia” – 2:29
13. “The Mesopotamians” – 2:57

I have a headache. It gets a 2.

Headaches suck; sometimes your head hurts in the back, and sometimes it hurts at the temples. Once in a while it even hurts in the very front.

If you have a great deal of stress or tension you may develop a headache. If you hit yourself in the head with a hammer you might also develop a headache.

Sometimes a headache can really make you feel miserable emotionally, especially if you do have stress, or you are upset for other personal reasons.

There is one good thing about having a headache. If you have a headache, it means you are still alive. Only living people can feel pain; dead ones don’t mind so much. That is the only reason it gets a 2 and not a 1.

Here is an article from Wikipedia, written by people who are probably much smarter than me (and probably much smarter than you if you are reading this blog) about headaches.

————————————————————————————-

This person definitely has, or will have a headache. Avoid this situation:

Bad Headache.jpg

My Review: 4

Many people pierce their bodies. Personally, I am not a fan of the practice.

Now don’t get me wrong here, it’s your body and you can do as you please. I’ll even march in a parade with you to demonstrate for your right to do as you please with your body. I’m just saying that personally, it does nothing for me. Remember that scene in Pulp Fiction when Rosanna Arquette and John Travolta are talking and John asks her why she has so many piercings? That question (and scene) embodies my feelings. The specific question and answer don’t matter; it’s more an issue of understanding. I just don’t really see the appeal.

And piercing can run the gamut from a relatively innocuous ear piercing:

to a slightly more aggressive tongue piercing:

up to some pretty bizarre and eccentric efforts at shoving spikes of metal (large and small) through parts of one’s anatomy.

There are also some R rated piercings - these are for adults only please.

Adult Viewers 1               Adult Viewers 2

Bottom line here for me? I don’t want to do it, it looks downright uncomfortable. QED: a rating of 4 out of 10.

My Review: 2

I think high heels are silly. They do make your calves look tight and muscular, but for the most part they appear uncomfortable and ungainly.

It has been asserted that wearing them not only is fashionable, it also makes a woman appear skinnier (because they are taller, vertically, in proportion to their normal width.) I don’t care. I still think they are stupid.

They look all pinched up in the toe, they are unsteady, they cost a lot of money, and they make you fall down when drunk. At least, it seems like they must, I don’t wear a lot of heels myself. And my understanding (based on movies, fictional literature, comic strips, and other sources) is that high heels are not good for your feet or ankles either.

Admittedly, I am a “function over form” type of guy in most things, so I guess my opinion on things fashion related is suspect, but again, I don’t care. I think high heels are silly, frivolous things that don’t do very much to enhance sex appeal, but do a great deal to affect budget and performance (walking, running, etc.) So I give high heels a two. They are lame.