1TO10REVIEWS

My Review: 8

Sol and I are sitting in the Capitola Mall south of Santa Cruz right now. We’re in line, sitting in camp chairs, outside the AT&T store. We are waiting for the opportunity to spend $600 and buy an 8GB iPhone. We have problems.

But this was really the way to do it. The Apple store is cool and all, but they are way over crowded, whereas the AT&T store in the Capitola mall is way more off the radar. So, instead of getting in line last night at 6 PM and standing there for 24 hours, we were able to come over here and get in line at 10:00 AM today, and we’re still like 12th in line.

So now, it’s 3:00 PM, we’re still feeling good, and we’re only 3 hours away from purchase time. And we’re styling too. Sol brought along a projector, speakers, extension cord, power strip, a macbook, and Star Wars. So we are projecting Star Wars onto the ceiling of the Capitola Mall - everyone in line is pretty stoked on us as a result.

Here is Sol and I in line; Star Wars is projecting upwards.

Our friend Sheree works here in the store - she wouldn’t tell us how many phones they have to sell, but she seemed optimistic about our odds. We’re feeling pretty good about our prospects. The questions is, do I keep it, or try to make some money on Ebay? All the nerds are incensed by the idea of NOT keeping it, but I am still on the fence.

I’ll update later on after the sales process happens - in the meantime the atmosphere here is festive and pleasant. 3 hours left to go. This event gets an eight, cause it’s ridiculous. David, signing off at 3:00PM, Pacific Standard Time.

————————————————————————————————————————-

Update #1 - 3:51 PM (PST) - Friday June 29, 2007

Lauren Sagar from the Santa Cruz Sentinel just came by to interview all the crazies that are waiting for the iPhone. She seemed duly impressed that we were screening Star Was on the ceiling, not to mention the water bottle full of Jack Daniels that we offered to share with her. We also shared with her the fact that Starbucks around the corner has been very generously coming by with snacks and treats for all of us hungry gadget freaks. Oh, I also got a phone call form my mother. She seemed awed and a little exasperated (in a kind, motherly way) that we were so committed as to wait in line for 7 hours to buy a really expensive phone.

Lauren Sagar - Santa Cruz Sentinel

————————————————————————————————————————-

Update #2 - 12:36 PM (PST) - Monday July 2, 2007

So, I think we need a little closure here. We finally arrived at 6:00 PM on Friday evening. The moment of truth. The culmination of 7 hours in line waiting to buy a phone. Right till the end I wasn’t even sure I wanted one. But I am here to testify. I am here to tell it on the mountain, ‘cross the oceans, in the valley and over the river… the iPhone kicks ass.

After waiting that long I had to purchase the thing; but the computers were running slow, so I had some down time. I went over to the demo model and started screwing around with it, and OMG it is so cool. The interface is easy to use, the screen is crystal… I’ll stop here because I may do a whole separate review of the thing. But suffice to say that I like it a lot and I am definitely keeping it.

In regards to the experience of waiting in line for the launch and purchase of the iPhone, it was pretty fun. Star Wars was a big hit, even with the security guards. Around 4:30 the Cingular store closed up shop and kicked out all the customers. Then at 6:00 they re-opened to allow us nerds to come in, 7 people at a time, to purchase either a 4GB or an 8GB version. Needless to say I went with the 8GB. Armed security guards stood at the store entrance to maintain order and keep things under control. By the time 6 o’clock rolled around the line had swelled to around 150 people. I’m certain that those in back did not manage to get a phone - brutal.

Sol and I were 15th and 16th in line , and it took till about 6:30 for us to get in the store and make our purchases. I’m glad we weren’t number 62 and 63; the anticipation at that point would have been irritating.
All in all I have to say the experience of waiting in line for the launch and purchase of the iPhone merits an 8. It was a circus. And circuses are fun. Except for the clowns; those dudes are creepy.

————————————————————————————————————————-

Post Script

An interesting after note. Remember Lauren Sagar from the Santa Cruz Sentinel? Well she did a write up of the iPhone experience. Sol and I made the front page. If I can get a hold of a clipping I will scan it in and post it here. Hooray. We’re famous.

————————————————————————————————————————-

Update to the Post Script

Here is the front page photo (bottom half) from the Santa Cruz Sentinel. Mardi Browning at the Sentinel very kindly sent me a copy, even though it was over a month after publication. Thanks Mardi.

By the way, the green water bottle I’m holding… yeah, it’s full of Jack Daniels.  Hoo-rah.

My Review: 4

When people say “let’s eat in the cafeteria” I do not get excited. I mostly feel glum. Cafeteria food is rarely excellent; in fact it generally sucks. Cafeteria food (by and large) is created out of budget priced, substandard ingredients by food service employees that rarely make more than minimum wage or have much in the way of training and experience.

There are exceptions. I’ve been told that Google’s cafeteria kicks ass. Lots of things about Google kick ass, so why not the cafeteria? But, I do not work at Google, and so most of my cafeteria experiences have been shitty.

Another Google Cafeteria Pic

The food is often geasy, it’s heavy on carbs and starches (cheap filler) and the meat is usually of poor quality andpoorly prepared. Sometimes they have a salad bar. Yay. Cheap greens with canned vegetables.

Cafeterias also remind me of certain things, places, and events. My freshman year of college (Go Gauchos) I lived in the dorms and ate in the Cafeteria - all the food you could eat, as long as you got there on time. All the gross food you can eat at the De La Guerra Dining Commons.

Also (and this one makes me smile) I am forced to remember Bluto Blutarski and the Food Fight scene in Animal House. What a fantastic scene. What a fantastic movie.

But, overall, I can’t help feeling negatively about Cafeterias, the food they serve, and the terrible, defeated ambiance they promote.

A 4, and that’s generous.

My Review: 10

In my honest opinion, water is essential for life. Ok, that’s not really an opinion. More of a scientific fact, as I understand it. But I like water, and I think it deserves a ten.

Did you know that scientists “may” have found standing water on the surface of Mars?

Water is good to drink. Best if it’s potable, but… ok really it has to be potable or you’ll get sick. But it keeps you hydrated (sort of by definition,) helps curb over-eating, prevents kidney stones, I could go on.

And I will. Water helps to lubricate joints, to regulate blood pressure, keep skin elastic, aid digestion and metabolize stored fat. And it helps to prevent dehydration.

Water covers more than 70% of this planet. When we (humans) are growing in our mother’s bellies, we live inside amniotic fluid which is in many ways similar to water. We breathe through gills like fish. And what do fish live in? Water.

Ocean water in particular is very healthy for human skin. Spending time in the ocean can help to heal small cuts and scrapes, and improves the skin and complexion. Ocean water is not helpful in preventing dehydration. But it’s good for your skin.

The cycle of water is something that most kids in the United States learn in elementary school. The basic premise of said cycle is that water on the surface of the Earth gets heated and evaporates, it collects in the upper atmosphere, condenses into clouds and after reaching a certain weight, density and set of conditions begins to release precipitation back to the surface. Hence the term: cycle.

I like water. It helps to prevent dehydration. It is good to drink, good to swim in, good to learn about, hopefully it exists in many other places in the universe. Because water is essential for life as we know it. And if there is life in other places, some of that life might be good looking. And that would be sweet. Totally sweet.

Water deserves a 10.

She is not dehydrated. She is Hydrated. Because she drinks plenty of water.

My Review: A Brutal 9

A friend at work turned me onto a cartoon on Adult Swim, it’s called: Metalocalypse.

This show is awesome. It’s about a fictional metal band called Dethklok - they’re the greatest metal band ever and “represent the 12th largest economy in the world.” They are forever in search ways to make the world more “metal.” The lead singer, Nathan Explosion wants all of their music to be as “brutal” as possible.

The bassist (William Murderface) and drummer (Pickles) as well as the lead singer (Explosion) are all American. The other two members are Scandinavian: Toki Wartooth (2nd fastest guitarist in the world and group punching bag) is from Norway. Skwisgaar Skwigelf (the fastest guitarist in the world) is from Sweden.

In the show, fans of Dethklok are routinely maimed and killed - they sign “Pain Waivers” to release the band of all liability. In the first episode a giant metal box containing the band is dropped from a helicopter and crushes dozens of concert attendees when it misses the landing pad. Brutal.

I don’t want to focus on describing the show - there’s a Wikipedia entry that gives a good synopsis, and you can always join the official Dethklok MySpace page if you want to be friends with Nathan, Murderface, and the guys and learn more about them.

No, what I want to focus on is how much fun this show is to watch. Even if you don’t like Metal music it’s pretty cool. The plot lines are ridiculous, and that’s what makes them awesome. From recording an album under water (at the bottom of the Marianas Trench) to an interview with a thinly veiled Larry King (who dies in the course of the interview) the shows are sick, funny, and fun. They are bloody, raucous affairs that only last 11 minutes with no commercials, so even the worst ADD TV addict can still enjoy them.

Veoh has quite a few of the episodes up and available if you want to watch. One of my favorites (where we meet the band members families) is up here. I think you should watch it and judge for yourself. But I am of the opinion that this show kicks butt. It’s brutal. It’s metal. I think I’m in love.

Sweet.

My Review: 7

Some men have a juicy butt. By juicy I mean large and in charge. Round and a little bubble-icious. This can be difficult. It can cause something of an emotional self-image crisis. But, for some people, no amount of exercise will exorcise your butt. Some of us will always have a round butt.

The trick I have found is to own it. Own your ass. And I’ll tell you something else. There are women out there (plural, they come in droves) that dig a good butt. Lots of women really like it when a guy has some junk in his trunk. I can attest to this because I have been hit on for my wide ass. And I am ok with it. More than ok - it’s become an asset. Pun basically intended.

So, my advice to you (if you are a man with a round butt that sticks out) is not to buy overly baggy clothes in a vain attempt to de-emphasize your ass. You’ll never succeed in de-emphasization. And Im not preaching the other extreme either. No need to buy tight shorts or invest in spandex. But own your ass. Be proud of it, don’t fear it. Let the ladies love you for it… cause they will.

My Review: 2

I think that U-Haul pretty much sucks. It is convenient to have a place where you can rent large trucks and other vehicles which are otherwie unavailable to the average citizen. But in general they suck. Here is a short list of what can (and often does) suck about U-Haul:

1. You make a reservation for a rental, and when you come pick it up it is not there. Too bad for you.
2. You call to confirm your rental before you come get it and liars assure you that is ready to go. (See #1)
3. Boxes are expensive there.
4. Rope and tape are even more expensive.
5. Sometimes you crash into things with a large truck. (Never happened to me, but several friends have had incidents. Truthfully that one can’t really be blamed on the no-talent ass-clowns at U-Haul - any large truck might cause similar issues.)
6. They keep older trucks in their fleet; older trucks with no air conditioning that you get to drive when it’s hot outside. That sucks.
7. Their staff is slow and incompetent - especially at large U-Haul central locations.
8. The small, independent gas station affiliates are difficult to deal with and have small parking lots that are difficult to maneuver.
9. 

The only thing I kind of like about U-Haul is their color: orange is a sweet color. For that reason alone they avoid the low grade of 1, treading the murky water of poor performance and keeping their lips barely above the suffocating water line with a narrowly achieved 2.

My Review: 9

Judd Apatow (the director of Knocked Up) does good work. I enjoyed Undeclared when it was on TV. I just ordered the DVD’s for Freaks and Geeks from my public library, because I have a feeling I will enjoy it. I thought the 40 Year Old virgin was an excellent and funny movie; that one was his directorial debut. Previously he had mainly written and produced. This week I went out to see his latest directorial entre, Knocked Up.

One of the things that made “Virgin” a good movie was its sensitive (relatively) treatment of a touchy subject. The movie made light of a delicate subject (a grown man’s persistent virginity) in a more or less kind way. And they managed to do this while simultaneously being raunchy and over the top, using a script replete with gay jokes, drug humor, sexual talk and other tasty, reprehensible tidbits.

Knocked Up follows this pattern in its own unique fashion. Seth Rogen stars in this film (he played the stock worker “Cal” in 40 Year Old Virgin) and does a wonderful job being intelligent, funny, and simple at the same time. Katherine Heigl (best known for playing Izzie Stevens on ABC’s Gray’s Anatomy) co-stars with Rogen as Allison, the female lead. The two meet up while partying at a club in LA and fall into bed together for a one night stand. Due to drunken miscommunication the birth control of choice fails and 8 weeks later vomiting induced anxiety precipitates a pregnancy test. Heigl passes - she’s going to have a baby.

The plot ensues as the two deal with forming a relationship necessary to bring a child into the world. Lifestyles, friendships and families all have to be integrated and / or dealt with. Strong performances by secondary characters in the film abound, notably Paul Rudd as Allison’s brother-in-law and Jason Segel as Rogen’s lecherous friend.

One of my favorite aspects of this film is the chemistry that Rudd and Rogen share on screen. As in the 40 Year Old Virgin, these two play off of each other magnificantly. It’s like watching a cheesy beach volleyball movie (anyone ever seen “Sideout”?) as one scene after another dishes up fantastic spike after fantastic spike. There’s awkward meetings and introductions, ’shrooms in Vegas, delivery rooms… great scenes abound. And if your friends are anything like my friends then “You know how I know that you’re gay…?” has become a favorite part of your daily taunting and camraderie.

No offense is intended to the gay and bi-sexual community by the way; I say swing any way you like. But it was a funny scene.

   ( )

There was an interesting side play in this movie which I still haven’t settled in my mind. Obviously the two end up deciding to bring the child to term - the word “abortion” isn’t even really mentioned in the film. It’s talked around using the clever euphemism “shma-shmortion.” There is a general implication that Heigl’s character, upon seeing the heartbeat during an ultrasound is unable to consider any alternative to a full term pregnancy, but it’s just that: an implication.

Here’s what’s odd to me: they won’t touch abortion with a ten foot pole. It could be that someone (Apatow, the studio, ?) is firmly anti-abortion, but rather than alienate younger, liberal movie-goers they didn’t make an issue of it. Or they may be pro-choice but not wanted to alienate the conservative anti-choice crowd. Certainly the basic plot premise requires a full term pregnancy - it wouldn’t be much of a movie if they decide to abort 30 minute in. The post-abortion scene in Fast Times At Ridgemont High (Cameron Crowe rules) explored those emotions well enough in the mid-eighties. But it’s odd to me that they avoid it so much. I guess you can only handle so much controversy. Hmmm.

In any case, the movie was great. It was funny and enjoyable every single minute of every single scene. There are moments of great outrage (by which I mean they are outrageous in a great way.) And there are moments of supreme hilarity. And there are moments of tenderness and growth, which elevates this over the run-of-the-mill slapstick comedy. Apatow has delivered another fantastic comedy that does credit to the genre, and I am grateful… because it kicked ass.

For more facts and information including cast and credits, please see the Knocked Up page on one of my favorite websites, IMDB (Internet Movie Data Base.)

There are also many great reviews of this movie on Rotten Tomatoes, a great movie review aggregation site.

My Review: 5

Julbo is a manufacturer of high quality optics for the outdoors (sunglasses, goggles, etc.) They are based in France, and they have two websites; one for international users, and the second tailored specifically for the United States. I have owned two pairs of Julbo’s Nomad sunglasses, but I suspect I will not own a third.

I like Julbo glasses in general.  They are a well known brand, considered to be high quality,  and 100% UV protective.  You can get multiple lenses for their glasses, and they have optics which focus on a variety of outdoor activities, from mountaineering to water sports to urban lifestyle.

The Nomad in particular is a mountain piece with a neat twist.  They feature removable face shields that snap into place along the stems.  These convert a regular pair of sport sunglasses into mountain goggles which help shield the eyes from dangerous glare off of surrounding snow. This glare can cause retinal damage and permanent blindness in extreme cases.  Sun damage to the eyes at high elevation is extremely common and extremely dangerous, and many mountaineers use protective goggles with leather shields to avoid this danger.  The Nomad is a more versatile (and arguably more stylish) option.

But the damn lenses scratch.

I owned a pair, which I purchased from REI, and the lenses scratched to the point of un-usability.  I returned them and recieved a new pair, which have now scratched as well.  I am generally careful with my gear, expecially expensive and potentially delicate items like mountain sunglasses.  I think that these are overly prone to scratching, and it’s annoying.  A close friend and climbing partner named John has also owned a pair of these and encountered the same problem.

I think that these glasses are well designed and versatile.  They fit somfortably, stay in place on my face, and they look reasonably cool. But even though I keep them in a case if they are not on my nose, and I always clean them with either an optic friendly wiping cloth or soft clean cotton, they consistently wear poorly and become unusable.  I want them to be a ten, but they are sadly only a five.